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De Vida Speaks In An Impromptu Interview With Wife Coach Leola Jones

Q. In your line of work; what would you say is one of the leading challenges for women?

  • Getting them to see how valuable they are and how to embrace their inner strengths and uniqueness as a woman. Many women don’t recognize their accomplishments or see themselves as successful women when in reality, the opposite is actually true.  When women are fearful, belittled, and/or do not have a strong support system, it can be difficult to be energetic, optimistic and challenge themselves.  Those that do survive and work through the negative influences of the outside world may be labeled as stuck up, rude, and aggressive versus confident, articulate and assertive; and sometimes never feel as though they are genuinely looked upon as a established leader and role model.  I find that many women don’t really know who they are in their personal, professional and private lives. Their identity is defined by the likeness or thoughts of others.  They rarely receive kudos for their accomplishments therefore feeling undervalued and unappreciated. Many have the feelings of being unworthy. 

Q. What is the difference between the validation of men and the validation of women?

  • Men tend to feed off of physical appreciation (eg. a promotion). This is something that society has already set in place for men. Women, on the other hand need more emotional substantiation. Like saying thank you, for example. Women desire a different way of being validated. With this in mind, knowing this will help women step out Beyond the Spotlight.  Learn to believe in themselves, validate their own accomplishments and live life on their terms.  Another thing is for women to know who they are and to know themselves better than anyone else ever could in all aspects of their life.

Q. If you had one thing you would like to tell the ladies and the cool guys that read Phenomenal Woman what would that be?

  • I don’t know if I can limit my answer to one specific thing but what I will say is how important it is strive beyond their own potential and know that the only person they are in competition with is themselves! To embrace not only their uniqueness but their individuality, personally, professionally and privately and Not to settle for anything less!  Remove the word "Can't" from their vocabulary.  One way to begin this change is to identify a new strength within themselves, everyday, no matter how big or small.  It can be an accomplishment (eg. going to work when their sick or completing an assignment), physical trait (eg. smile, eyes, hair), or a personality characteristic (eg. energetic, optimistic, funny).  Remove the words bad day from their vocabulary.  It’s important that they shift their mindset and how they speak to themselves and others.  Instead, when someone asks them about their day, they can rephrase their statement and say “I had a character building day.”  By saying this, they can determine what they learned from that challenging day, learn from it and move on. My life’s journey is to take people Beyond the Spotlight personally, professionally and privately to maintain lifestyle balance and embrace their YOU within.  ​